just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
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