Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
