So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
