You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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