That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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