I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
where are my eyebrows?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
