it was like fucking gandolphs beard
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
