I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
