Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Randomize