Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Randomize
