why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
