some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
