Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
