Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
