I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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