He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
