Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
