my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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