i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
