one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
