I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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