I wanna passion pit in your ass
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
