I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
