No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
