i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
