kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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