She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize
