the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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