my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
