yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
