I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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