did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
