I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
