Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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