my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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