1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
