Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Randomize
