Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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