the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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