I accidentally had phone sex last night
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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