Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
