just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
