When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
