i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
