i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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