based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
