i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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