Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
