Kiss
Puke
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
