Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
