try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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