there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
