So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Randomize
