they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
