Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
