So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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